the hole has opened

my dad is looking worse and feeling worse. Donny is leaving. My sister isn't handling things well and doesn't know if she can stay. I cant find anyone to take the apartment. I weight the most today since I've been here. I look terrible. I don't want to go back to work. I don't want to go back to Seattle. I am stressed because I cant accept the reality that has been put in front of me. The hole has opened in front of me....i dont want to fall in but I feel myself.slipping.....