Super Frustrated

I hate having to show the apartment. I hate being in limbo. I hate that I have to go home next week. I don't want to work. I don't want to be in the winter weather. I don't want to have to put pants on. I'm afraid of the number on my home scale. What will it be? I'm afraid my dad will die while I'm in Seattle. He might come to WA to get death drugs from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and I'm afraid to have him stay with me. I'm overeating a bit, and eating "ALLERGY" foods, and I can tell it's affecting my body but I kind of don't care. Maybe being pudgy is better than being angry about food right now. Maybe I'll learn to cope in my own, slow way. I was happy I didn't binge last night, but I was very depressed this morning. I hope that trend (the depression) doesn't continue. Ok, off to do something with my mom, take my dad to the doctor, and try to get my sister out of bed....