people keep asking me if I've moved to Hawaii... Am I working remotely... And now I feel.like that's what I should have done. Or should do. Stop being a slacker, go back to work, spend time with my parents AND be a productive member of society.
but u know what? I didn't want to. And I'm stressed out about going back to work, pretending like I care, getting too absorbed again, forgetting my dad is going to DIE while I spend time writing emails and motivational speeches for my boss, well, really just organizing them for him. Maybe if I actually wrote them I'd feel more of a purpose. But I don't.
I wonder if I'll get massive fat back in Seattle , succumbing to the depression that's loominout there but kept at bay because of.my parents, the sun and the warmth. I think I'll do a program at the gym (the only reason I'm glad to be going back) so that doesn't happen
ill try to engage with my friends. But secretly ill wish i could be in Hawaii or another sunny locale. But mostly Hawaii because I want to be with my dad. Maybe I will do what my sister suggested and tell work I want to work part.time, in a different job, from Hawaii. She said I need to tell.people.what I want. And she's right. I don't want to feel like I'm doing it wrong anymore and part.of that is saying what I want and why I want it. And then being good with that. So there.
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