I've been eating like crazy and when I stepped on the scale, I weighed less today than yesterday. I know it's all based on water weight, salt intake, blah blah blah but it still makes me happy. Which I know is all disordered and crap but I don't care.
I do care that I'm trying to maintain sanity around food, but it's hard. I've dialed back on my exercise a bit so that I don't spend countless hours at the gym. I've stopped buying binge foods (mostly) and I'm trying to not do weird obsessive things around food. But I still eat too much, and I still comfort myself at night with food.
I wonder if I moved back in with my parents if I would stop that last one. Maybe not stop but it might reduce. But I'm too tired to move my stuff back down here, especially when I'd just have to move it back upstairs. (My dad is trying so hard to fix the smell problem and I'm wondering why he wants to hold onto an apartment that causes me so much grief. I guess I should ask.)
I don't know what the scale will hold tomorrow, but I'm getting a massage which I hope doesn't provoke any body issues for me. I miss being skinny, having strangers comment on my toned body. But I will try to embrace this as an opportunity to love my body no matter what size it is. Wish me luck.
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