In an angry mood

I'm pissed that my dad is dying but right now I'm mad at him. He ate the cake I've been waiting to eat for days. Argh. Oh well, guess it's the universe's way of saying I'm eating too much and to stop it already.

I'm also pissed that we just circle around each other all day. What a waste of time for Mike to be in Hawaii, doing nothing he'd like to be doing like diving or getting a massage. Ok, we did go to Zippy's for lunch but that's not really something he wanted to do, he was just hungry. And because A was so fucking lazy and couldn't get out of bed all day, we were late to go to the place he really wanted to go and then it closed.

I'm mad at my mom for giving away the food I gave to her for her birthday. I think I'll take back the food gift I gave her for Xmas. She won't eat it anyway. What a waste of money.

I'm mad that I have to sleep in a smelly apartment in smelly sheets and that I'm the one who has to deal with the f'ing landlord who is starting to be a dick because I'm asking for stuff to be fixed. For the amount he's charging, I should be asking for way more. Especially since we're doing each other a MUTUAL favor with this short term lease.

I'm angry that I feel guilty when I go do stuff for myself, but everyone just thinks I'm selfish because I'm working out or going to yoga or wanting to GO DO SOMETHING!!! outside of this building. Am I the only one who likes fresh air and sunshine and interacting with the world? It certainly seems like it.

And of course, I'm pissed at myself that I keep eating, even though I want to be skinny, thin, fit, have awesome arms and no cellulite. Eating is my refuge, my respite, and also my nemesis.

Someday this will change I hope to be less angry. For now, I'm just pissed off.