how do i be different?

I'm trying not to eat to cope... But I'm not sure what to do instead. I know I'm supposed to acknowledge my feelings and digest them (haha) bit sometimes I can't either because people are around or I just don't have the energy. I feel like watching tv, reading, etc is "avoidance" and exercising is also a usual way to go. So how do I do this differently? How do I take what happened last night, what's happening now and do something productive without making myself want to eat or yell or retreat? The family dynamic is so hard to break. Food is love, food is comfort, food is how we gather together. Now its weird because M dad and mom dont have any appetite, my sister eats crap and I pretend I'm on my allergy free diet that I hate and have been breaking too often. But I have to do something because I have to.learn how to cope without food. The next year isnt going to be easy and I don't want to turn into a blimp. Maybe I'm covering up my feelings about what's happening with my feeling about my fat but I also think that fitness is one of my values so I can't throw it out the window and pretend it doesn't matter. Maybe its just the second order bit instead of the first.i already feel guilty going to the gym when I think my dad might emerge from his bedroom ready to engage. But I also know its a good stress relief and makes me feel good. Is that so wrong? If so, please suggest something else. Because I'm struggling with all of this.