Grazing

One of the behaviours I need to stop is grazing at night. I often do it when I've been dissatisfied by my food that day or evening, or disappointed in something or someone. Tonight I did it because I was frustrated with my food experience during our cocktail/hula show outing. Nothing on the pupu menu for me to eat so I had to get a salad from the dinner menu. It was really good (lehua honey dressing!) but I was still irritated I had to make special arrangements for it, and really I wanted to eat the spring rolls and beef kebabs my parents ate.

I was also irritated with myself for eating chips, not only because they have so many calories in them but because I didn't know what the ingredients were. I'm pretty sure they had a corn product in them because my head is all itchy now.

I'm also irritated because I look pudgy in my bikini and I'm puffy from the humidity to boot. Oh, and I have to look at myself in the millions of mirrors in my parents' condo, and I just keep remembering how thin I was before.

It's dumb for me to eat because I'm frustrated with not being thin. But ED doesn't really make sense....

I'll try to do better tomorrow. Famous last words. :p