Melt down

I hate my body right now. I hate that I can't make myself stop eating. I hate my mom for being able to eat half a bowl of rice and stopping. I hate that she's so skinny and I'm so fat. I hate that my dad gets to eat whatever he wants because he's going to die soon. I hate that my clothes are too tight and that I can't wear things I used to be able to wear. The sad part is I know that if I don't eat, I'll lose weight. If I go back to my old diet I'll be thin and feel better. But I can't make it stop. I hate myself.