Food is not love

I'm pissed off at myself right now.

I thought cooking a big Chinese New Year dinner would be fun. I spent a ton of time cooking and then me, my sister and her husband either sat in silence or they bickered at each other. Even though I was irritated and ate too much because their dynamic stressed me out, I was happy I cooked the food because it was tasty and made feel good about doing something I set out to do. I made soup, fried rice, and noodles. Yum.

But then the ice cream (that I shouldn't have bought but did because I've been too tempted to eat my sister's - ok, ok, I know that should've been a sign....) came out and I ate the fortune cookies (wheat, eggs) that I bought. And ate way too much/too many and went back for more after my sister and BIL went to bed. Sigh.

I can see the roll on my stomach getting ever larger. I don't know what environment will be the best for me to get over this. I'm confused about what to do next.... and food may give me the comfort I need in the short term but it also makes me feel bad about myself so it's not the solution.

My attempt to show my family love through food failed and the attempt to make myself feel better by eating ends up backfiring all the time too....

But, those cookies were tasty, and that chocolate ice cream was so rich, yummy, and awesome.