Got mad at my mom for eating part of my dessert. She said she didn't want anything and then when my dad and I ordered lilikoi pie (which is me cheating...) and the waitress split it into fours, I kinda lost it. It was mine to eat, and I ended up grabbing her plate when she had about half left. Not cool. I hate that food makes me act like that.
Tonight I'm stressed out about whether or not to leave so I grazed on See's chocolates (cheating again), ice cream and leftover latte, and then the really bad thing was eating nut butter and chocolate chips. Ugh. Now my tummy hurts, my mouth is tingly, my head is itchy, and I feel bad about myself.
I need to stop buying graze-inducing foods, but then I still graze anyway because I'm not satisfied. :(
I want to be thin like Sienna Miller was in American Sniper. I want to be fit like the lady I saw coming out of a gym in Kailua. I want my old body back, the one that had no fat, people envied, and made me feel good about myself. Sadly, eating is more pleasing to me in the moment than the promise of being thin in the future.
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