I'm .5lbs away from my panic weight.
I fucked up this morning and didn't bring my wallet to the airport and rod has to go back and get it for me. My boss has since texted and asked where I am, and I told the truth and now I'm sure he thinks I'm even more of an idiot than he already thinks I am.
I think I am an idiot.
and this is where the rub is.
In ED therapy they always talk about food being a symptom of something else going on. This time it's that I'm mad at myself, actually I use the word hate in my own head, it just sounds so harsh. I'm mad that I took a job I don't lime when I had strong inklkngs it wasn't cir me. I'm mad that I can't listen to my own intuition. I'm mad that I feel like a huge failure in this job. I'm mad that I can't own up to what I want out of life and then go after that. I'm mad about a bunch of things I can't control.
I'm just bad and angry and the only way I know to stuff those feelings down is through food.
You are dressed very attractively today. You have your wallet. You spoke the truth. Be proud of that. You were pleasantly surprised with in-flight snacks that will not cause any allergy flare-ups. You will see a longtime friend at the conference. Enjoy!
ReplyDelete