Beating Myself Up

These are all the self-flagellating thoughts I've had today which have culminated in me writing this blog when I should be working:

- Stayed up late so woke up late so got to work late
- Spent too much time at Whole Food this morning (see got to work late above)
- Felt unorganized and lame at a meeting with my vendor
- Caved and had a coffee, fought with the café people about the kind of "milk" I wanted in it
- Didn't end up enjoying latte and felt bad about drinking the high fat coconut milk
- Can see the pudge on my thighs and butt in my new dress which makes me sad
- Thought bad thoughts about myself because I'm buying new, bigger clothes instead of working late
- Felt bad about not working enough when someone told me he got to work at 4:00 a.m.
- Ordered WAY too much food for a going-away party and felt guilty about spending the company's money unwisely
- Had to go find a bottle opener because I forgot mine. I suck.
- Ate way too much, was the only person eating and again beat myself up about ordering too much food.
- Ate stuff that is "suspect" from a food sensitivity standpoint and worried about that (and now feel effects of it)
- Feel bad because the person for whom I threw the party is super thin and that's how I used to look and now I'm heavy and icky
- My watch is tight on my wrist and that bugs me
- I wish I hadn't take home all the plastic bags I had so I could pack up the leftover food for home.
- Think I have issues because I want to take the food home instead of just throwing it out or leaving it in the kitchen
- Frustrated that after eating too much at the party, I angry at a bag of chips
- Friend called and wants me to come visit - and I don't know how to juggle a visit with her and another friend and a vacation to Hawaii
- Frustrated that I have so much work to do and I just want to go home
- Frustrated that all I want to do is go home and eat
- Sad I can't be normal and happy.